DMX - Criminal Mastermind

GroundUp chronicals DMX’s steady rise into criminal mastery. This is up-to-date documentation of a certifiable genius at work. The Dark Man ain’t half-steppin’.

1999, Teaneck New Jersey

It was obvious DMX was destined for an impressive future in crime when in 1999 he was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, disorderly conduct and animal cruelty! Not bad for a rookie, but we never doubted him during his largely undocumented apprenticeship. The charges were filed when police found a loaded pistol, thirteen pit bulls (?!) and six used crack pipes in his home. X later made some PSA’s for the Humane Society and the animal cruelty charges were dropped.

March 13, 2001

Co-stars with Steven Seagal in Exit Wounds.”What Can Two Men Do Against A Gang Of Crooked Cops? Whatever It Takes.” Both Seagal and X escaped arrest for this crime.

December 24 2002

It’s Christmas Eve and DMX commits probably his most dull crime: Charged with unsafe lane changing, failure to signal and possession of a forged instrument. What exactly is a forged instrument? nycourts.gov gives me this explaination:
“Any instrument or article [including computer data or a computer program] containing written or printed matter or the equivalent thereof, used for the purpose of reciting, embodying, conveying or recording information, or constituting a symbol or evidence of value, right, privilege or identification, which is capable of being used to the advantage or disadvantage of some person.”
Well that still makes no sense to me, but needless to say, DMX never bragged about this one on record. “Fuckin with X is unsafe! / Like changin lanes without indicating” would have burned though.

June 27, 2003 St Kitts (Caribbean)

During a trip to the small Caribbean island of St. Kitts, probably to do a few shows and cool out by the beach, DMX was arrested again, his first international arrest. X was booked to perform at the St. Kitts Music Festival, and warned repeatedly by the festival’s organisers that swearing on stage is against the law in St. Kitts.
Never one to live by the rules of ‘the man’ or even listen to people, DMX was caught swearing and arrested. Reports also stated he had “gestured obscenities to the crowd while grabbing his genitals, then motioning as if to unzip his pants - to the delight of fans in attendance.” He was later released on a bank-breaking $376 bail.

June 24, 2004, JFK Airport NY

This one is my all-time favourite DMX crime. Hell it might be my favourite hip hop crime. On June 24, 2004, DMX and a friend were arrested in the JFK airport carpark. DMX and the other man reportedly tried to steal a car, only to be spotted by the car’s owner. When the owner of the car questioned DMX, he claimed to be an FBI Special Agent, before crashing the car through the boom gate of the parking lot. It was at this point that DMX also told the parking lot attendant he was an FBI Special Agent. He then stopped another driver and tried to force him out of his car, again identifying himself as an FBI agent.
DMX pleaded guilty to driving under the influence, impersonating a federal agent and reckless endangerment. He was fined $1,000, was sentenced to a conditional discharge, had his license suspended for six months and had to forfeit his 1998 Ford Expedition SUV.

December 2004

Just weeks after being given a conditional sentence for his June 24th arrest, police clocked DMX driving over 104 mph in a 65 mph speed zone and arrested and charged him with various driving violations including driving with a suspended license (see June 24, 2004 arrest).

April 15, 2005. Bronx, NY

Once again, DMX was charged with driving with a suspended license. He could probably have been cruising around un-noticed with his suspended license, but driving 39 mph over the limit tends to bring attention to you. This time DMX attracted attention to himself when he was involved in a three car pileup on the Major Deegan Expressway in the Bronx, NY. DMX hit a car, which after being struck by DMX’s car, crashed into a police car. X was arrested again for operating a vehicle while having a suspended license.

November 18, 2005

While it has happened almost a year ago at this stage, DMX finally fronted court for the December 2004 arrest (104 in a 65 zone, driving with a suspended license). DMX would have been given a 60-day jail sentence, but showed up to court late the previous day, so the judge made it a 70-day jail sentence. X did the time at Rikers, beginning November 30.

December 2005

Only one month after his previous trial, X was in court again. This time to defend himself in relation to his April 15 arrest. Judge George Villegas was quoted as saying “I’m not going to put him on probation because he’s a violation waiting to happen.” DMX received an additional 7 days on top of the 70-day sentence, and a $5000 fine.

December 30, 2005

December 30 was a good day for Dark Man X. After serving only one month of his now 77-day jail sentence, DMX was released from prison for good behaviour and because he had accrued some credit for time previously spent in jail.

May 15 2006, Heathrow Airport UK

Rapper DMX became the second US rapper to be arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport in the space of three weeks after allegedly firing off verbal abuse at cabin crew on an inbound flight from New York.

June 2 2006, White Plains, New York

On June 2, DMX kicked off his best month on record, with four infringements! To start things off, X was stopped in White Plains for driving erratically. Police reported DMX cut off another driver while speeding in a 2001 Chevrolet Suburban. The Dark Man was charged with aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle. Court dates were set, but the mastermind fooled them all and didn’t show up.

June 16 2006, Harrison New York

While driving on the Hutchinson River Parkway in Harrison, New York, DMX was for some reason driving on the shoulder of the road. When he attempted to migrate back into traffic, X’s 2006 Chevrolet Suburban struck another vehicle. X was issued a summons and is due to face the charges on July 11.

June 22 2006, Scottsdale Arizona

Criminal mastermind DMX escaped arrest after another brush with stupidity and the law on June 22 In Scottsdale Arizona. Police cited Dark Man X after they spotted him remove his gun from a holster and place it beneath the front seat of his 1964 Chevrolet convertible.
DMX was cited for a misdemeanor weapons violation for not having a permit to conceal the weapon beneath the car seat. I love that there is a permit for concealing weapons tho. U-S-A! Full story here

June 28 2006

DMX was due to make an appearance in court on Wednesday June 28 to face several charges of reckless driving, but never appeared in the courtroom. City Court Judge Barbara Leak had already granted DMX two postponements prior to Wednesday, and subsequently issued a warrant for DMX’s arrest.

X’s lawyer, Stacey Murray, promised the judge that DMX would appear in court on Thursday. Murray offered the excuse that DMX had flown back to New York for the trial from Arizona but had fallen ill and couldn’t make it. Groundup ain’t buyin that story though, we put that crackpipe in there for a reason.